


It's Fine with Me Cause I've Let it Slide

by Obsessivecompulsivereadr



Category: Glee
Genre: M/M, Not Blaine Friendly, Not Klaine Friendly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-18
Updated: 2012-12-18
Packaged: 2017-11-21 12:24:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,727
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/597723
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Obsessivecompulsivereadr/pseuds/Obsessivecompulsivereadr
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's been three months, almost four, since Kurt and Blaine broke up.  And while Kurt wants to move on, it seems like most of the people in his life don't want him to... This is just a conversation between Kurt and Adam (the new possible love interest) -- sort of a reaction fic to how the break-up story line has been featured through the Christmas episode (some spoilers for Glee, Actually)</p>
            </blockquote>





	It's Fine with Me Cause I've Let it Slide

**Author's Note:**

> Title is a line from New York State of Mind (Billy Joel of course), but the song doesn't appear in the story.

Kurt finished reading the email on his phone, then dropped the phone on the table with a sigh. 

He was just so tired of this. 

The email was yet another request for Kurt to “hear Blaine out” or to “talk to Blaine” because _Blaine_ was having such a hard time dealing with not having Kurt in his life.  It had been almost four months since they officially broke up, and he was _still_ hearing about it. 

He’d been through dealing with Blaine’s issues after the McKinley play, and the unexpected visit at Christmas, and all that had happened in just the first two months of the break-up.   He’d hoped that once Blaine had decided to move on with some new crush he had back in Ohio, that he’d stop hearing about Blaine every single time someone from home contacted him. 

But no.  That hadn’t happened. 

Because Blaine seemed determined to stay in his life using whatever means possible. 

And the means he was using seemed to be every person in Kurt’s life. 

“Another one?” Adam didn’t smile as he asked, and he handed Kurt a drink.

“Yeah, another one.” Kurt took a sip of the mixed drink as he stood and crossed the room to the window of Adam’s apartment. 

The apartment wasn’t anywhere near downtown Manhattan, but it also wasn’t anywhere near Bushwick either.  It was a nice apartment, just a studio, and it was just a subway ride from NYADA.  The apartment wasn’t by any means luxurious, but it also wasn’t an old warehouse either, so Adam had a little bit of an advantage over Kurt and Rachel.

“I thought the last time he called you that he found some new guy he liked.” Adam said. 

Kurt turned to him, and Adam was lounging on the chair with his feet up on his coffee table. 

“He did.  It didn’t work out the way he’d wanted it to,” Kurt replied with a shrug. 

Between Adam and Rachel, he finally had people he could talk to about his relationship with Blaine. 

Rachel had sided with Kurt immediately once Kurt had divulged the _whole_ story about the night that Blaine had visited to confess to the cheating.  Everything down to Blaine’s ridiculous attitude that somehow Kurt not being in Lima had been a valid reason for Blaine to cheat. 

Mercedes knew about that particular excuse as well, but she hadn’t known until about a month later.  And Mercedes, by virtue of living in LA, really wasn’t involved in Blaine’s life.  So she had nothing invested in contacting Kurt about getting back together with him.

But it seemed like all of New Directions, at least the older members of the group, had decided that convincing Kurt to get back together with Blaine was more crucial to them than winning Nationals this year. 

Kurt thought about the new members of the group and about how they were probably confused as hell about why Blaine’s love life was center stage when the group needed to focus on the competition.  But they didn’t know Blaine.  Not like the Warblers and the older New Directions members did.

“Who was it this time?”  Adam took a sip of his drink after he asked. 

“Dad again.  He was emailing me the progress report he got from his doctor today.  He’s doing well, and it looks like they really did catch everything in time.  But still, he added a little sentence onto the end about how much Blaine wanted to hear from me.”

Adam grimaced, “Damn.  He really knows how to work it, doesn’t he?”

Kurt nodded but didn’t answer. 

“So when are you going to tell your dad the truth?”

Kurt walked over to where Adam sat and dropped down into the couch opposite him, tugging his feet under him to get comfortable. 

“I don’t know.”

“He should know, Kurt.” Adam said again, a refrain that Kurt heard from him often. 

Adam was very quickly becoming someone that Kurt really needed in his life.  They were just friends at the moment, but Kurt was not about to deny that he would like for their relationship to become more.  But he knew that it was going to take some time. 

He couldn’t really move on into another real relationship until the people in his life were willing to let him shake the one he’d just gotten out of.  If anybody back home thought he was dating, their calls and emails and texts would probably become more numerous than they already were.  And Kurt resented feeling like he wasn’t allowed to move on because of how moving on might affect Blaine. 

Especially since they were one hundred percent behind Blaine when he had his fleeting crush on some guy in the group.  A guy he didn’t even want to name for some odd reason. 

All Kurt had been told was that Blaine had been flirting with the guy, but that it hadn’t gone well for him.  And that apparently it wasn’t the guy he’d “hooked up” with, Blaine had been quick to point out.  Not that Kurt knew who _that guy_ was either.

Blaine just hadn’t wanted Kurt to have any details.  That was a thing with Blaine. 

But Kurt knew that the moment Blaine found out about Adam, that there was someone important in Kurt’s life now, there would be another unexpected visit from Blaine to address the issues in their relationship.

The relationship that didn’t really exist anymore, even though he was having trouble getting that through Blaine’s head. 

“I know he should,” Kurt agreed again.  Like always. 

And Adam was right.  His father did need to know what had been going on, and honestly, Kurt probably should have told his father a lot of things about his relationship with Blaine.  Things his father would not be happy about hearing. 

But as always, he didn’t tell his father anything to protect him. 

And now that he was in treatment for cancer, Kurt felt like he still couldn’t tell his father anything without it causing more stress for him.

“I know you don’t want him to worry because of his diagnosis.  But you can’t keep letting everybody dictate your life to you.”

“I know,” Kurt nodded. 

And he did know.   He wasn’t about to argue with Adam about any of it, because Adam was right. 

Rachel was right as well, whenever the two of them talked about it, which was rare because she was very Brody focused in her life right now. 

Not that Kurt could blame her. 

“I hate it when you do that,” Adam sat his drink down on the table next to him and put his feet back down into the floor. 

“I know you do,” Kurt smiled at him. 

“Then do something about it.”

“You know.  I was thinking about why I haven’t told him just the other day.”

“And?” Adam leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees, his hands steepled under his chin. 

“I don’t want him to side with Blaine.”

“At the moment, hasn’t he already sided with Blaine?  Won’t telling him fix that?” Adam asked.

“That’s what I’m afraid of,” Kurt felt a tear on his cheek and brushed it away.  “Right now, he’s on Blaine’s side because Blaine is there and Dad can see his pain and his point of view more easily than mine.  I get that.  And it’s also because he doesn’t know anything about the details.”

“Right.  Telling him will fix that, though.”

“But what if it doesn’t?  What if I do tell him everything?  All of it.  The gory details and all.  What if he hears all of that and then he still sides with Blaine.  It’s been known to happen before, and I couldn’t take that if it happened with my own father.  At least this way, I can excuse it away by saying that he only wants me to give Blaine a chance because he doesn’t know anything.”

“You’re afraid that even if he knows what happened, he’ll still want you to keep Blaine in your life?  No matter how you might feel about it.”

Listening to Adam say it made Kurt wonder about that concept. 

He didn’t honestly think his father would feel that way.  It was just when his insecurity about being a good enough son for him took over.  Kurt had already been through that with Finn, and Christmas had felt more like his father wanted to spend time with Blaine more than he did Kurt.  Kurt knew that wasn’t true deep down.  But that feeling of never being good enough for anybody never seemed to go away, no matter how much he tried to push it away. 

Having his father sit there and bet with Blaine about how long Kurt could stand to watch sports had been irritating.  All Kurt had wanted to do was talk with his father, and discuss his medical plans, and work on dealing with doctors and communication, and just spend Christmas with his dad. 

But it hadn’t gone that way at all.

“Yeah.  It seems like you and Rachel are the only people who want me to do what I want.  And you don’t even know Blaine, so you have the most objective view about it.”

“Not really,” Adam replied.

“What do you mean?”

Adam smiled, “Well, I’m not objective at all.  I don’t want you to have anything to do with him.  And I’m not going to lie and tell you I do just to support you.”

“Oh,” Kurt pressed his lips together firmly.  “Good to know.”

“No pressure.  I’m just telling you so you have all the information you need to make a decision about it.”

Kurt smirked, “No.  That’s no pressure at all.”

Adam laughed, “Hey.  At least I’m owning up to it.”

“True.”

“So now that you know my motivations aren’t objective in any way, what are you going to do?”

“Honestly, if I didn’t have to think about how everybody else would react, I’d tell Blaine to stop contacting me for good.  But I don’t have that luxury.  Because he will make them miserable by complaining about how much he’s been hurt.  I know he’s done it to Sam because Sam told me.  He’s done it to Finn because Finn told me.”

“But at some point, you are going to have to put yourself first in life,” Adam sat back again and grabbed his drink, gesturing with it as he talked.  “If they really love you, and if they really care about what you want, they’ll understand that you want to cut ties with him.”

Kurt nodded, “I know.  And in theory, you’re right.  But you’ve never seen the Blaine Anderson phenomenon in action.”

“I’m pretty grateful for that, actually,” Adam snorted. 

“Oh hush,” Kurt fidgeted in his seat to get more comfortable.  “He has this hold over people.  It’s almost like he only allows a few people to see his temper, and his clinginess, and his absolute _need_ to make everything about him.  And those people get that _all the time_.  Well, I got it all the time.  But around others, he has this front about how dapper and polite he is.  So it’s endearing to everybody who hasn’t seen the other side.  And Dad has definitely not seen the other side.  If he had, he probably would have tried to prevent me from dating him.”

“All the more reason to tell him,” Adam replied.

“Stop being the voice of reason,” Kurt laughed.  “It’s not just _him_ though.  Up until I told Rachel that Blaine said the reason I shouldn’t be upset at him for cheating was that I wasn’t there for him when he needed me, she was Blaine’s biggest fan.  I was actually kind of shocked that she sided with me, if you want to know the truth.  I’m grateful that she did, but a year ago, I don’t know that she would have.”

Where Kurt struggled to find a place where he was accepted, Blaine got that acceptance easily.  Kurt had dealt with slushies on a regular basis in his first few years at McKinley, but the one and only time Blaine had been slushied had been from another gay guy.  Who was targeting _Kurt._   Not Blaine. 

 _Everybody_ seemed to love Blaine, and they never hesitated to tell Kurt all about it.  About how perfect Blaine was.  About how lucky Kurt was to have him.  Just once he’d like to have heard someone tell _Blaine_ that he was the lucky one to have had Kurt in his life.

But no.  That never happened.

And the very moment that Kurt did something that wasn’t acceptable, not only did Blaine point it out to everybody on the planet, so did their friends.  But Kurt was supposed to just cater to Blaine, and forget about what he wanted or what he needed for himself. 

As long as he gave Blaine what _he_ needed.

He’d put up with that long enough.  And now that they were broken up, he _was_ focusing on himself and on finding things in his life that were about him and not about Blaine.

But nobody seemed to want to let him do that for himself. 

Every week, at least three times a week, he heard from someone about how bad Blaine was taking this break up.  Even though _Blaine_ was the one who cheated, and even though _Blaine_ had developed a crush on someone else, and even though _Blaine_ was the one who had destroyed any trust or respect he’d had for him by constantly playing the victim with Kurt.

Kurt was almost glad Blaine had cheated. 

Because it gave him a chance to be free. 

“A lot of them think he’s this perfect boyfriend who never does anything wrong, but it’s not really just about the fact that he cheated.  It was more like this was the last straw for me.  I mean, I’ve thought about being with other people as well.  And I didn’t do it.  But it’s not even that.  It’s that he basically said it was _my fault_ that he cheated.  Simply because I did what _he_ told me to do and came here.  Where I was supposed to be in the first place.”

“I know,” Adam said softly. 

And he did know. 

That wasn’t just lip service or Adam encouraging him to go on.  Kurt had told Adam everything about that night, and a lot more about his relationship.  So Adam knew all those gory details that nobody else knew about Blaine. 

“And after that situation with Chandler, when he accused me of cheating because of texts, I’m supposed to just brush off him actually _sleeping with_ someone else?  When he got to blame me for Chandler, and yell at me for Chandler, and he got to sing a song to me about how he’d be fine without me in his life.  I didn’t do _any_ of that to him.  I cried, and felt sorry for myself, and I lived on sleeping pills for a little while.  But for what?  Someone who doesn’t really care about what I want or how I feel?”

Adam grinned and stood before walking over to the couch.  He sat opposite Kurt, grabbing his feet and pulling them into his lap.  The unexpected movement caught Kurt off balance, and he held his drink out to prevent it from spilling all over him. 

“So get mad.”

“What will that accomplish?  And you are lucky you didn’t make me spill my drink,” Kurt glared mildly.

Adam smirked, “I’d pay to get it dry cleaned, and you know that.  Getting mad will make you feel better, even if nobody’s around to hear it.”

“It won’t fix anything,” Kurt argued.

“Fine.  Don’t do it,” Adam leaned his head back and rolled it to the side to face him.  “And in a few years, when you’re facing being married to this guy simply because _everybody else_ in your life thinks you’re meant for each other, then don’t expect me to rescue you.  Don’t get me wrong, I’ll sleep with you on the side.  But I’m not rescuing you.  Not if you won’t even do what’s necessary to rescue _yourself_.”

Kurt kicked at him with one leg, “Jerk.  Sleep with me on the side.”

“I’m right and you know it.”

“Yeah, I know it.  That’s why you’re irritating.”

Adam laughed, “You love it.”

Kurt rolled his eyes, “God that whole marriage idea sounds like something that would happen though.  Like everybody would want me to marry him because of my dad’s health or something.  And it’s terrifying to think that people would just want me to do it simply because it’s what Blaine wants.  Or what my dad wants.”

“Exactly.  Now what are you going to do about it?  What exactly do _you_ want right now?” Adam slapped his ankle gently.

“I want to tell my dad the details.  And then Sam and Finn.  They are there, and they can deal with Blaine’s fallout about how nobody’s listening to him about his problems.  They can head him off when he tries to get on Dad’s side.”

“Sounds like a plan,” Adam replied.  “Then what?”

“Tell him I don’t want to hear from him.  Not for a long while.  Maybe ever again.  I can’t handle being his friend when he doesn’t even care what that means to me.  He wants it to be on his terms and using his rules.  And I’m not doing it anymore.  I want to be happy.  He hasn’t really made me happy in a very long time.”

“Then?”

“Feel out the other friends to see who’d rather be Blaine’s in the ‘ _divorce_.’  And then move on with the people who want to be in my life.”

“Well, you have me and Rachel.  You have Brody, too, as annoying as _he_ is.”

Kurt snorted, because Adam had some issues with Brody and his tendency to walk around Kurt and Rachel’s apartment sans clothing.  And he’d been complaining about it since the two had met. 

Adam apparently didn’t appreciate the fact that Kurt might randomly run across a wild and naked Brody at any point of the day. 

“I think the older ones who don’t deal with Blaine every day will have a little more perspective.  The ones who are still in Blaine’s grade might have more of a problem because he’ll be there, in their faces, every day.”

“So you get your Dad on your side, and maybe everybody else will stop texting and emailing and calling on Blaine’s behalf all the time.  Then you’ll be done with him.” 

“But we’ll get a surprise visit as soon as Blaine knows what’s going on.  I would just about guarantee it.”

“So you come over here and stay if he does.  Or send him back on the next plane.”

Kurt snorted again, remembering his father’s comment about how he could return his Christmas present if he wanted to, and how much he now wished he _had_ when the opportunity had presented itself.

“Deal.  Don’t freak out if I come bursting through the door asking you to hide me some day.  Just assume that Blaine’s visiting and I’m being forced out of my apartment.”

“Got it.  Now let’s go eat,” Adam dropped Kurt’s feet down into the floor and held out his hand to help him up.

Kurt allowed Adam to pull him to his feet, and he finished off his drink before placing the glass on the table. 

“Okay.”

“One more thing,” Adam said before stepping closer to Kurt.

Adam cupped Kurt’s face in his hands, and he brushed their lips together slowly.  Kurt’s hands gripped at Adam’s shirt and he opened his mouth slightly, kissing back with a soft sigh.  Adam bit at his lower lip gently and tilted his head to have more access to Kurt’s mouth.  They kissed lazily again and again, and Adam seemed reluctant to pull away from his mouth. 

He ducked his head and pressed his forehead to Kurt’s. 

“Well,” Kurt said softly.  “That was unexpected.”

“Really?” Adam said with a tilt of his head as he leaned back to look at him.  “Was it really?”

“Well maybe not _completely_ unexpected.  But unexpected for tonight.” 

Adam nodded, “I guess you’re right about that.”

“Not that I’m complaining, because I’m really _not_ complaining, but what was that about exactly?”

Adam smiled and brushed his thumb across Kurt’s skin, “You’re really beautiful, do you know that?”

Kurt squeezed his eyes shut for a moment, trying to keep himself from crying.  “No.  Actually, I don’t.”

“You should,” Adam said softly. 

Kurt kept his eyes closed while he gathered his composure.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” Kurt said as he opened his eyes.  “Nothing’s wrong at all.  It’s just that you’re the first person to ever tell me that.”

Adam stared at him, “What?”

“I don’t get those kind of things said about me.  Or to me.  Ever.  I’m adorable.  I’m cute.  I’m compassionate.  But I’m not sexy, and I’m not beautiful.  At least to anybody I know.”

“Well, I guess I know what I’ll be doing for a while.”

“What?” Kurt asked.

“Proving you wrong.”

“Adam.”

“Come on.  Let’s just go eat.  Over dinner, feel free to come up with a thousand reasons why I’ll never convince you that you’re gorgeous.  And then I can argue them point for point.”

“Adam,” Kurt tugged on his hand as Adam tried to lead him into the kitchen.

“What?”

“Why now?  Why did you pick now to kiss me?”

“I’ve just been waiting for you to figure out what you want.  And finally tell yourself.”

“What do you mean?” Kurt tugged at him again when he tried to walk away.

“I was not about to become another person in your life telling you to decide based on what _I want_.  I’ve just been waiting for you to figure yourself out.  Yeah, I’ve been flirting, but I do that.  But I wasn’t about to take the choice away from you.  I was waiting for you to actually tell yourself what you want and what you’re going to do to get it.”

Kurt stared at him.

“What?” Adam asked.

“I don’t know.  You’re just too good to be true sometimes.”

Adam held their entwined hands up and brushed his lips over the back of Kurt’s hand. 

“Nope.  I’m just _not Blaine_.”

 

 

 

 


End file.
